Daily Bafflements

• Happy Hannukah, everyone. For your pleasure: “Texas Gov. Rick Perry may not be dancing with rabbis this Hanukkah season, but the Lone Star State’s outgoing chief is still looking to find common ground with the Chosen,” reports CNN. “Perry released a statement on the first night of Hanukkah comparing the plight of the Maccabees—Jewish rebels who fought back the Seleucid Empire in the second century B.C.—to that of American tea partiers under British rule.”

• Does anyone else smell a macademia-nut conspiracy?

• Today in Oh Really: “Cat cafes are well established in Japan, where there are also owl cafes and penguin bars,” reports the New York Times.

• Today in Billionaires: “Private Equity Raps in Dr. Dre-Inspired Video,” starring 65-year-old billionaire David Rubenstein.