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Daily Bafflements

• The Reports Are In: “With four out of five pet owners considering their pet a member of the family and 79% saying the quality of their pet’s food is as important as their own, it’s not surprising that the premium sector accounted for 40% of the $26 billion U.S. pet food market in 2013; superpremium accounted for 10%,” according to an Institute of Food Technologies report on gourmet food industry growth. “Adding excitement to a pet’s diet via flavors, gravies, look-a-like human recipes, daypart foods (e.g., breakfast food/eggs or appetizers) was a top driver of the best-selling new pet foods in 2013…. Energy bars are among the new pet treats; pet beverages remain an enormous untapped opportunity.”

• “Close the Libraries and Give Everyone an Amazon Kindle Unlimited Subscription,” helpfully suggests this Forbes columnist. Get worse!

Digiday goes “Inside “The Atlantic’s Events Juggernaut”—it begins with the inventor of the cronut, and goes swiftly downhill from there. (Read more about The Atlantic here.)

• You know what? Just don’t even follow this link to a New York magazine piece entitled “My Summer As a Professional Pretty Girl in the Hamptons.” It is what it says it is.